


what it looks like from afar

by bouenkyou



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Haikyuu!! Rare Pair Exchange 2017, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 17:20:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10141328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bouenkyou/pseuds/bouenkyou
Summary: Unrequited love is painful; both Yachi and Yamaguchi know this.What they have yet they know is that neither of their love is unrequited.





	

**Author's Note:**

> > Written for the HQ Rare Pair Exchange 2017 for Tikki (wakan-nai.tumblr.com)
> 
> I hope you like it! This is my first time writing this pairing, I hope I did the characters justice. Mutual pining is one of my favorite tropes, so I had the time of my life while I worked on this. 

Yamaguchi stares at Yachi—she sits in between the two most desolate rows in the library, sobbing quietly. Her reddened cheeks are cute, but they’re stained by tear streaks and it just breaks his heart to see her like this. A part of him feels tempted to dry her eyes with his thumbs, but he doesn’t. He just lowers his head and screws his eyes shut to not see her shaking shoulders.

“I’m a failure,” she sniffs and her hand creases the sheet of paper full of red marks that made her feel this way. Yamaguchi carefully plucks the paper from her hands.

“Yachi,” he calls softly and she looks up. Her eyes and the tip of her nose are red from crying, and he’s humbled by the thought that she’s willing to show him this part of her that’s so vulnerable. He clears his throat and grins. “Failing once doesn’t make you a failure, you know. Or else, everyone else is a failure, too.”

Her eyes widen in understanding as her brain processes the words and she nods slowly, like she’s under a spell. Yamaguchi takes a moment to examine the wrinkled exam paper and looks at the subject, chemistry. Sadly, not his forte. Yachi pulls out a handkerchief and she presses it against her cheeks. Her breathing is a little labored, but she’s not sobbing or sniffling any more.

“So, would you like to tell me what happened?” He asks quietly as he returns Yachi her exam paper. She laughs bitterly.

“I just—I didn’t do my usual reviewing. I was distracted in class, too, and even though I took notes…” she trails off and shrugs. Her forehead creases with worry and her voice takes on a frantic edge. “What if this grade affects my overall score? Next thing I know, my current ranking will drop—”

“But this was a pop quiz, right?” Yamaguchi interrupts in an attempt to calm her down. “You can definitely recover during midterms!”

He smiles confidently at her and she’s taken aback for a moment, but his cheerfulness and hope is contagious and she feels relief wash over her—there is still a chance to recover in this class. She ventures a small smile at Yamaguchi.

“You’re right, I’m so silly. I hadn’t seen it that way.” She breathes out in relief and wipes her eyes one last time. “Is my face red?”

Yamaguchi looks at her—if it wasn’t for the red rimming her eyes, she would just be blushing normally like any girl in love.

“A little,” he admits, ducking his head. She sighs.

“I-I think I’ll stay here for a while, then. Thanks for listening to me, Yamaguchi.”

He nods and takes that as his cue to leave. As he walks away from Yachi, he turns to look at her once more. She notices and waves at him, smiling brightly. It blinds him.

He really has it bad.

**

Yamaguchi wonders what he could do to help Yachi. He mulls over it during afternoon lessons and then during practice. When they are at the gym, his eyes unconsciously follow her around the venue—she catches him staring every time, but doesn’t say anything, just smiles and waves at him. Tsukishima elbows him in the ribs.

“If you keep that up, everyone will notice, you know?”

Yamaguchi nearly jumps out of his skin at the implications.

“What—just what are you saying? There’s nothing to notice.” He tries to mimic the disdainful tone that Tsukishima uses to dismiss things--the one that makes him sound cool and mature--but the sentence takes on a nervous edge when it comes out from his mouth and it sounds a little desperate. He wants to kick himself when Tsukishima eyes him with a smug grin that means  _ ‘I knew it’ _ .

“You better not say a word,” Yamaguchi murmurs, blushing.

At the end of practice, Tsukishima practically drags Yamaguchi towards Yachi.

“Yachi-san, Yamaguchi has something he wants to tell you,” he announces smugly and pushes Yamaguchi ahead.  

Yamaguchi’s eyes bulge a little and he stammers, but an idea comes to mind suddenly.

“T-This weekend, that is if you’re not busy, do you want to study together?” he asks. Tsukishima delivers a chop to the middle of his head.

“That wasn’t what you were supposed to say!” Tsukishima points an accusing finger at him. “Your confes—”

“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi yells, panicking. Yachi’s laughter dispels the tension building between them.

“That’s a good idea, Yamaguchi! Is Tsukishima-kun coming, too?”

“As if,” he mutters, crossing his arms over his chest. “I wouldn’t want to intrude on your date—”

“Tsukki, stop that! It’s just a study session, nothing like a d-date,” Yamaguchi says, laughing nervously. Yachi’s eyes widen comically and her face tints into a dark crimson.

“No!” she shouts, startling Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. She turns even redder and looks away. Her next words are a self-deprecating whisper.

“I mean, Yamaguchi and I are just friends. It’s not like he would invite me to a date or anything.”

Yamaguchi is so busy listening to the sound of his own heart breaking at the  _ ‘just friends’ _ Yachi just uttered, that he can’t notice the underlying implications of her tone. This doesn’t escape Tsukishima, however.

“Is that so?” He raises an eyebrow and gives her a stern look that shakes her. “Either way I’m not going, enjoy your little study session.”

Yamaguchi, who seemed troubled by Yachi’s words, recovers quickly and starts chattering with her about where they should meet and what the best place to study would be. Tsukishima walks away, shaking his head, while Yamaguchi and Yachi make plans to meet on Sunday at the nearest station to Yachi’s house. Yamaguchi rushes after Tsukishima when all plans are made.

“Can you believe it? I’m going to Yachi’s house!” Yamaguchi whispers excitedly. “Do you think we’ll study in her room?” he adds, his tone of voice taking on an anticipating edge. “Please lend me your Chemistry notes; she didn’t do so well in that subject recently and she’ll want to review—”

Yamaguchi’s blabber is interrupted by Tsukishima’s heavy sigh.

“I can’t believe  _ you _ .” Tsukishima reproaches. “You’re an idiot, and blind—and did I say idiot already?”

Yamaguchi frowns.

“Woah. What’s wrong? If you don’t want to lend me your notes, just say so. No need to insult me, ok?”

“This is  _ not _ about the notes!” Tsukishima lets out a frustrated sigh. “Fine, I’ll give you my notes tomorrow; just… review them before going to Yachi’s, ok? It’s important that you do that.”

Yamaguchi gives him a confused look, but nods anyway.

“Right. I’ll make sure to do so. Don’t forget to bring them tomorrow!”

Yamaguchi waves his goodbye and rushes towards the nearest train station. Tsukishima raises his hand briefly to say goodbye, and in his mind he starts machinating a plan to help his friend.

**

On Sunday, Yamaguchi boards the train to go to Yachi’s house. As Tsukishima promised, he gave Yamaguchi his impeccable chemistry notes, but not without insisting again that Yamaguchi  _ had _ to review by himself before going to Yachi’s house. Yamaguchi promised he’d open the notebook as soon as he arrived home, and completely forgot about it until he is on the train.

A slip of paper falls in Yamaguchi’s lap as soon as he opens the notebook. It reads:

_ Instructions: _

_ As soon as you see Yachi, compliment her clothes. She’ll be happy. _

_ During the session, sit as close to her as possible. _

_ At some point, touch her hand and make it look like an accident. You’ll be in for a surprise! _

_ When you leave, kiss her on the cheek. You’ll make her fall for you with this. _

Yamaguchi’s eyes widen impossibly at the last sentence written and he quickly crumples the paper and thinks about throwing it away. He is sure Tsukishima had good intentions with this, but Yachi probably wouldn’t appreciate it. The phrase ‘just friends’ echoes inside his head in her voice, it just means she probably doesn’t see him that way at all. He puts the small paper ball in his shirt’s breast pocket, deciding he’ll throw it away when he gets off the train.

He forgets about it, though, as his phone buzzes with Yachi’s message stating she’s already at the meeting place. Yamaguchi practically runs to not make her wait too long, and pushes away from his mind the thought that this is just— _ exactly _ —like a date. Or at least how he imagines a date would be.

Yachi looks radiant in her green one-piece and her hair is tied back in two cute pigtails. She smiles brightly at him when he reaches her.

“Sorry, did you wait long?” He wheezes, trying to catch his breath. “You look great.” He adds, unconsciously, and immediately regrets it—Yachi blushes a bright pink, but looks a little uncomfortable with his comment.

“I—no, I arrived here recently. I mean, I didn’t wait long!” She looks agitated and Yamaguchi feels guilty and awkward. They stand in silence for a long minute before Yachi collects herself.

“M-my house is this way!” She says, leading the way. “We better start on the studying soon, there’s a lot to cover.”

Yamaguchi is afraid to say anything else that would make the atmosphere even worse, so he just nods and follows her. The ten-minute walk to Yachi’s condo feels like an eternity, but when they enter the elevator Yachi is back to her cheerful self.

“Thanks for suggesting this session! I wouldn’t have thought of this, but you know? There are scientific studies that suggest that helping someone else study strengthens your own knowledge.” She smiles proudly. “I think if we help each other, we can both raise our average grades.”

“We should study together every week, then!” Yamaguchi says on a whim as they walk out of the elevator. “I’d be more than happy to!”

Yachi’s smile slips a little and she seems torn at the idea. Yamaguchi wants to kick himself.

“E-every week would be a little tough, probably,” she admits quietly.

“Yeah, true. Sorry! What was I thinking,” Yamaguchi berates himself internally. Yachi gives him an awkward smile.

“A-anyway, welcome to my house!” She unlocks the door and walks in. Yamaguchi is impressed by how spacious it is. There’s a low table in the living room where there are several books already laid out. “I started a little early. I hope you don’t mind. Sit anywhere you want!” She says as she lowers herself on a cushion laid out in front of the low table.

Yamaguchi pulls out his notebooks and books and places them next to Yachi’s. He sits next to her, realizing this would be the easiest way to review if they have to share notes. She doesn’t comment on it, only smiles a little.

“Let’s start, then,” he says as he opens the first notebook.

**

They’ve been studying for a good three hours non-stop and they’re now reviewing Chemistry. Tsukishima’s notes are incredibly helpful and both Yachi and Yamaguchi have made great progress, but their concentration is beginning to wear down. Yamaguchi stretches his arms and his stomach takes this moment to grumble. Yachi gives him a sympathetic look.

“We should take a break,” she suggests. “I’ll prepare some snacks!”

Yamaguchi nods and he stands up from the table to accompany Yachi to the kitchen. At that moment, the forgotten paper ball falls off from his breast pocket. He doesn’t even notice until Yachi picks up the paper, stares at it with curiosity and opens it carefully.

“No!” Yamaguchi yells when he notices it, frightening her. He tries to take the paper from her hands, but in her surprise she pulls it close to her chest, in a place he can’t reach.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, a worried look contorting her features. Yamaguchi is speechless, he can’t begin to explain what is and isn’t wrong.

“That note, it’s just some silly thing Tsukki wrote.” He laughs nervously and vaguely realizes he’s sweating a lot. “Please. Just, please don’t read it.”

Yachi stares at Yamaguchi with a torn look before hesitantly lifting the slip of paper to read the contents. Yamaguchi can guess exactly which part of the note she’s reading by her reactions. By the end of it her cheeks are tinted red, both from embarrassment and anger; she flashes Yamaguchi a hurt look before her eyes turn cold.  

“What is this? Some sort of punishment game?” Her words waver, but it looks like she’s doing the best she can to not break down in front of him. “Whose idea was this?”

“I can explain! Tsukki just thought he—” Yamaguchi desperately tries to defend himself, but Yachi shakes her head and turns her back at him.

“S-sorry, Yamaguchi, could you please, go home? I want to be alone.” She sounds hurt and disappointed and Yamaguchi wants to cry. He feels so defeated. He quickly picks up his books and on the way out the door the stares at her shaking back—the sight of her crying and the knowledge that he’s the one who caused this pierces his heart.

“I’m sorry. I swear it’s not what you think. Sorry.” He closes the door behind himself and runs as fast as his legs can carry him. On the way to the train station, his vision becomes blurry from the tears he can’t hold back. He sits in a nearby park and just lets his emotion carry him for a while. When he has finally calmed down, he texts Tsukishima.

_ Can I go to your place? We need to talk. _

A reply comes quickly and he takes the train to Tsukishima’s place.

**

Yachi walks towards her classroom quickly, mentally begging the universe to not meet Yamaguchi on the way. She considered faking a cold to miss classes, but her mother would have been able to tell right away that she wasn’t sick and… thinking about having to explain to her mother the reasons why she didn’t want to go to school made her even more nervous than meeting Yamaguchi.

She still thought it was best to avoid meeting him. It really hurt her to think Yamaguchi and Tsukishima had tried to play a prank on her, one that could have made her hopeful about her feelings for Yamaguchi. She knows she’ll get over the joke eventually and she wants to still be friends with Yamaguchi, but not now when she feels this vulnerable and betrayed. She reaches the corner before the first years’ classrooms hallway and slows down; peeking carefully around it to make sure Yamaguchi is not there.

“Yachi-san,” someone says behinds her and she jumps and shouts in surprise. She turns around with the intention to apologize for her reaction and the words die in her throat when she finds herself face-to-face with Tsukishima. She is so shocked she can’t move, and Tsukishima takes advantage of this to block her escape route. “Listen, Yachi-san,” he continues. “About yesterday’s note, I’m… sorry.” He sounds embarrassed and a little awkward, like he isn’t used to apologizing.

“No, it’s fine,” she begins to say, trying to soften the awkwardness out of habit, but then she remembers the anxiety and disappointment when she read the note. “Wait, it’s not fine! I just want to know what made you want to play a prank on me,” she demands.

Tsukishima’s eyebrows draw together in confusion.

“A prank? This wasn’t a prank. I just wanted Yamaguchi to come clean about his feelings for once,” he explains. “I’m apologizing because I dragged you into it without considering your feelings.”

“So, you weren’t trying to make fun of me,” she states, trying to put the pieces together inside her mind. He shakes his head before leaning close to her.

“I was sort of trying to mess with Yamaguchi, in a good way, but it all backfired.”

She raises her eyebrows in surprise at his confession and smiles a little.

“Mess with Yamaguchi? How so?” She asks in a conspiratory tone. The left corner of Tsukishima’s mouth quirks up.

“He’s got a thing for you, you know?” he says matter-of-factly. “And I just happen to know you kind of like him back, but he didn’t believe it. So this was my way of showing him, you see…”

Her eyes widen comically as her whole face becomes red. An anxious expression grabs hold of her features.

“Oh no,” She tries to hide her embarrassment behind her hands. “Did you tell him I  _ like _ him?”

Tsukishima rubs his chin thoughtfully before grinning.

“Your secret is safe, in fact. I didn’t tell him verbally. I sort of vaguely pointed towards it, but he’s hopeless. I think you’ll have to tell him directly before he can actually believe it.”

The suggestion gives Yachi such a shock that her knees give out and she crumples to the floor.

“You mean…C-confessing?!” She is already panicking just at the idea. Tsukishima can’t help but feel a little sympathy. He never thought much of her as a possible constant element in his life, but he knows they could really become good friends in the future.

“The good thing, Yachi-san,” he says when he leans down to help her up, “is that you know he’ll accept it.”

**

After lunchtime, Yamaguchi finds a note inside his math notebook. The note reads:

_ Please come to the rooftoop today after classes end. _

_ Yachi Hitoka. _

How the note got there is a huge mystery he can’t crack, but what Yachi would have to say is an even bigger mystery for him. Uneasiness settles in the pit of his stomach and he imagines all the terrible things she would have to say—he’s terrified, but in hindsight it’s a relief that she would still want to talk to him after he made her upset. He mentally prepares himself to apologize and accept whatever terms she has in order to repair their friendship. What would hurt him more than anything would be not having her around at all—this was something he had considered and feared after her reaction the day before.

He climbs the stairs to the rooftop after class and pushes the heavy metal door open to find her with her back to the door, looking out into the blue vastness of the sky. Yamaguchi holds onto this precious instant and stores it deep into his heart before walking towards her.

“Hey,” he greets her quietly as he braces himself against the safety railing like her.

“Hey,” she says back, smiling shyly.

They stay quiet like this for a few seconds, but Yamaguchi knows he has something important to say.

“Listen, Yamaguchi,” Yachi starts, beating him to it. “I have something to tell you.” She seems really nervous and Yamaguchi nods while bracing for the worst. “I-I have a crush on you,” she whispers.

It takes a moment for Yamaguchi’s brain to register the words.

“What?!” he exclaims in surprise, not sure if he heard right.

Yachi flinches at his reaction and recoils a little, her eyebrows drawing up in worry and confusion.

“You—you have a crush on…on me?!” He repeats, hoping to get some confirmation. She nods awkwardly. Yamaguchi is so relieved he wants to laugh and cry. His body picks the former. “Wow. No way!” He practically yells.

Yachi gives him an awkward look as she wraps her arms around herself. “Yes, way,” she adds quietly. “Is it such a ridiculous idea?”

Yamaguchi notices the defensive tone and smiles at her.

“It’s not. I’m glad.” he admits. “Actually, I’ve had a crush on you for a while now, but I never thought you’d see me that way. I mean, I’m just… me.”

“And I’m just me! I’m a mess sometimes, and I always worry about things. I’m awful.” She says in her usual self-deprecating tone.

“You’re far from awful, Yachi. You’re kind and smart, and very cute,” A nervous laugh escapes his lips with his real thoughts about her. “I think many boys would be jealous of me. It’s a real honor to receive a confession from you.”

She echoes his nervous laugh and covers her blushing face with her hands.

“You always cheer me up, Yamaguchi. That’s what I like about you,” She walks up to him and presses her forehead to his chest. He takes that as his cue to wrap his arms around her.

When they reach the gym, Tsukishima points at them and exclaims.

“A round of applause for the new couple!”

Even if they’re openly surprised by this event, all their teammates cheer and applaud for them. Tanaka and Hinata give Yamaguchi murderous looks for taking the cute Yachi-san for himself, but they still comment they suit each other and are happy for them in the end. Yachi smiles radiantly at Yamaguchi, her pink cheeks glowing. Yamaguchi is sure the blush on his own face matches hers.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are more than welcome! This pairing is super sweet ;; please share your love for them with me!


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